I miss fireflies

And warm summer nights

The moment when dusk settles in

And the trees become giant, looming silhouettes

Against the cascading fire toned hues

sweeping across the sky, as if God was holding the paint brush

In the distance the bonfire crackles

With grey smoke billowing into the air

Smiles dance in-between the fire’s shadows

And laughter echoes, as the adults reminisce over cold beers

And the children play kick the can

Then one by one

Little yellow lights

Flickering through the air

First by the bushes

And floating silently in-between each tree

As if playing hide and seek

And as the pitch of night greets us finally

Their little yellow lights fill the yard

As if mirroring the stars

I miss fireflies

And warm summer nights

When we played amongst the twinkling yellow stars

All one and the same.

The Earth Mother, the Poet, the Painter, the Shapeshifter.

All one and the same.

The one who walks into a room and feels the energy of the space before it has a name

The one who recoils in anxiety from the oppression of performative presence

The one who shrinks away in the face of too little vulnerability and zero embodiment

The one who blossoms in depth, or the moment before nothing but empty canvas becomes blissfully alive, when words begin to form prose.

The mind may try to understand, the why’s, the inner workings of such a mystery

But only the creative spark that flows from the heart begins to understand

Our true capacity, just beyond what is known about ourselves and the world.

Even when our mind longs to escape

Or make sense of every minor detail

Our body speaks softly, sometimes loudly

Informing us of the truth, however much it may be steeped in grief or love or fear.

It is the sensitive one inside us, the creative impulse and the deep inner knowing that whispers through our bones

Our faithful and eternal guide leading us towards what is real

You cannot transcend this part of yourself

Or escape the invitation

Because the spark, the fire, the expression of what is real within you never dies nor does it need to be transcended in the first place.

The invitation will always remain

Waiting patiently for you to accept…

This is why art heals

Why sex heals

Why walking in nature heals

Why the touch of a woman heals

Why the shaman heals

All of these things exist in the tangible

In the flesh

In the bones of each other

In the real time space of now.

✨ 🤍✨

*please consider donating to help me grow and to support my own creative flow. I appreciate you! ❤️

Devotion = reverence for life itself

Devotion focuses Shakti, the creative spark, a desire.

Devotion builds, intensifies and magnifies energy.

Devotion is the bridge…

Between Shiva and Shakti ♾️

From my experience, modern relating short circuits Shakti, the creative feminine womb energy. It does so by way of the illusion of greener grass, more options and the endless dopamine loop.

This leaves people feeling a lack of containment, a lack of intention, and a lack of what is sacred, all because people choose distraction or the supremacy of “more” over devotion to One.

The constant moving on, seeking different, better, and more…never allows desire to deepen.

The depths are never reached because people bring half their attention, expecting full connection, only to be repeatedly disappointed.

To me, this isn’t so shocking because what we’re seeking underneath it all, is consistency being avoided by a temptation that only leads us further away from the original desire.

So, when you hear someone say “I need consistency, presence, attunement…” what they’re really asking for is devotion.

Devotion sparks a sacred kind of love. Something the fragmented world can’t touch.

And if it is you that longs for this, it is the devotee in you asking for a conscious, sustained choosing of what is alive and true in your own beautiful heart.

Perhaps you are the bridge too, back to a devotional world.

✨❤️✨

There is no formula that guarantees your arrival at all.

There is only your lived experiences carrying you forward. Every solitary step of the way.

We may have moments of clarity, intuitive understanding or a deep integration of a pattern, that allows for moments of reprieve, joy or bliss.

You may even think “I’ve arrived!” Only to realize you’re no further ahead or behind. You’re only here.

And yet still - the descent is the path. The deepening is the way. The darkening is the undeniable process that leads you further into yourself and the truth of who you are.

No matter how much people try to sell you the idea that you control your own destiny and healing, the descent isn’t a choice.

You can accept the invitation or be destroyed by it.

Either way, the person you are becoming understands now, what it didn’t even remotely grasp then and the person you’re becoming yet still, knows nothing at all, other than we will lose everything to become who we really are.

The descent - the deepening - the wisdom that speaks through your bones, understands this.

We break.

We shatter.

We give it all up.

To know the tiniest pieces of the undying truth, the unshakable love, and the undeniable joy of this life.

Yet most spend an entire lifetime running from the very thing that saves them - the wisdom of your own soul.

Because pain lives here.

Grief lives here.

The unraveling is required here.

The descent will ask for everything. To know it all. To feel it all.

To

Love

It

All.

The descent is the way and you do not have a choice on how or when or where it will bless you with its rapture.

❤️

That is the question. This is the ruminating rumbling that is shaking us all to our core right now.

At what cost are you selling your soul and for what?

At what cost are you giving away your energy, time, love, body, advice and for what?

This isn’t about being transactional. It’s about moving into right relationship with reciprocity and worthiness. It’s about honoring yourself and finding what is in alignment for you. By doing so, we can co-exist in reciprocal life experiences that are life giving and sustainable. With the sun being in Pisces, there is also an invitation to explore the relationship between the mystical and the physical. The unconscious and the conscious. The heart and the mind.

I know for Virgo (the eclipse is in YOUR sign after all) Gemini, Pisces and Sagittarius (all mutable signs) this eclipse feels extra potent. *This applies to you if you have your Sun, Moon or Rising in these signs. But everyone will feel the sting of exposure to some extent this week and it will continue to unfold for the duration of March, with a culmination of understanding towards the end of March. Virgo and Gemini, your ruling planet Mercury is also in retrograde as we speak, so it adds an extra crunchy layer and pivotal focus on what’s happening in your communication with others, within yourself and the power dynamics underneath it all.

I know for many mutable signs there is also an awareness and integration happening with an old version of self that may be arriving to help you “face yourself” and “choose your battles wisely”. I know for myself this is remarkably true.

There are very few people who know the darkness I have walked or the adversity I have known. Even fewer yet still, who would understand and those who knew that version of Melissa the best, are no longer alive. Loss has been a close ally in my life and yet, I will continue to advocate for love, because without love, grief has no name or path to be known.

I share this because it can be easy to look at who we are now, with so much as a passing glance, only to keep our focus on the future or what we hope to accomplish or experience in this life. It’s only human nature to want to progress, to grow and it’s our conditioning that keeps us hungry, moving the needle towards “better”.

And now that we’ve come full circle, I think it’s helpful to reflect on that hunger, the constant moving of the needle and the focus on who we’re becoming…at what cost? What parts of ourselves are we ignoring that may be helpful to remember the part they played in who we are right now? Because who we are right now - is where we exist, right now. All the versions you’ve played to get here, deserve your honor and empathy too. Especially, the little one who had to grow up too fast, or hold it all together, or keep the peace, or stay quiet or ride the rollercoaster of the home, or shapeshift themselves into a pretzel to feel loved, or become someone else to be loved….That little person in your heart and mind deserves the utmost respect, honor, empathy and love because they survived it to tell the tale and to write a new one, chapter by chapter (that if you’re reading this,) you’re still currently writing.

So as we bask in this very intense astrological weather, just know it’s ok to fall apart in the face of the exposure of your deepest pain. It’s ok to get big, to fight for what you believe in or to protect your precious heart and the ones that you love. It’s ok to come undone into the arms of those who love you and see you. It’s ok also, to be in a place of “who are my safe people? Who are the people I can be all of myself with?” because honestly this is also the theme.

Where can you stop performing perfection to just show up as you are and be loved for this version of yourself? Wounds and past history and flaws and all, because it’s beautiful to be loved in this way. It’s even more beautiful to recognize it in yourself, especially when you can sit back and really look at your life, all of your hardships, your struggles, your pain and be proud of how you showed up for life and made it to where you are today.

When we can do this for ourselves, we realize we don’t have to sell our soul or over give or prove our worthiness to anyone or at any cost, because when you appreciate what you have, love who you are, exist in the present moment, we allow the sacred to join us. We’re no longer hiding, or escaping or needing to prove. Instead we allow what is and exist within it in the name of love and acceptance. It’s a radical kind of simplicity within a very complex and paradoxical experience, we call human life.

I know on the other side of all this, we will have written a new chapter that revised how we approach our value and how we engage with others in a way that says “I love who I am and the path that I took to get here. I honor myself by being very intentional about who I allow access to my heart, my mind, my body and my energy. I choose reciprocity and those who show up to know me and those who I also want to deeply know. Because it’s all love here. It’s all love.”

<3

What I find interesting now, as the Epstein files are released and the horrors are revealed (I’m just going to keep referring to this insanity as “the horrors” because I can’t find a more accurate description) is how many in the “spiritual community” keep feeling the need to either tell others to “stop reading them” “don’t give them your energy” “it’s a distraction” “don’t let them steal your joy, focus on the positive” “It’s important to keep your vibration high during times like this” “It’s important to turn to God when evil is asking you to face it” “Don’t let this pull you out of your center”

I can keep going, but I think you get my drift.

This is just purity culture aka supremacy in another form. ← Please hear me when I say this. You are still subscribing to fascism by pushing this narrative.

Yes, the overwhelm is real and the point is to exhaust you. It’s to create cognitive dissonance. It’s psychological and emotional warfare. It’s intentional and it’s horrible.

The horrors persist when we turn our attention towards purifying the ick from our screens, from our bodies, from our minds…because we are in complete rejection to what is currently being served on a platter. From my perspective it’s being served on a platter, not so you can turn away in disgust and focus elsewhere on something that feels more palatable. The horrors are being served on a platter because consciousness has reached a point in which we have no choice, but to face the shadows that lurk on this planet. It’s yet, another invitation and will we arrive to accept it?

Let’s talk astrology for a second: Pisces is all that is hidden. It’s the subconscious. It’s the karmic ick ready to be transformed. We are collectively shifting out of Pisces and into Aquarian energy, which means all that was hidden is being revealed for the collective/the community to witness.

Now back to reality- this means It is not time to use our platitudes or whimsical notions that we can vibrate out of this mess. WE ARE THE FUCKING MESS. We made it. We slept in it for decades. Lifetimes even. And now it’s time to wake up. Does this mean we are the vile creatures who do horrible things to children or other human beings based on what they look like or because they don’t submit to terror? No, for most of us, it means we have ignored the systems that support this sort of twisted complex of evil to exist and willingly so, because it was easier to maintain the status quo. We were conditioned to do so. The horrors where kept just out of view, and available to those who were willing to sell their soul for a piece of the worst kind of power.

But the tide has changed, the times are different and staying in a state of illusion to the reality of the world is no longer an option. (I will also caveat this is much easier for people who have had the privilege to do so. Much of our country, dare I say planet, has been awake to the abuses of power and supremacy since it’s inception).

Waking up and losing privilege - looks like different things to different people and that is where I have to get off my own soapbox and accept that some people are not ready to let go of their privilege. Some people are very uncomfortable and cannot make sense of or face the horrors. Some people will avoid it altogether. Other’s will find comfort “transcending” it and staying in a “higher vibration” wary to come too close to the filth. Others will try to find a more neutral ground, to stay out of intensity of the extremes. But please understand this, opting for these routes only guarantees more of the same. It is aligned with the same purity culture, the same supremacy, the same systemic evil that has plagued our planet since Empire began.

The invitation arrives with every veil that lifts, with every revelation. And we can choose to let it be a distraction or another thing to cast out quickly to return to the fantasy that all will be well if we just pray hard enough.

The invitation will keep arriving. It will keep knocking on your door. The words you will hear is not “do you want to run away from here?” The resounding call will speak into the space of “it all exists here” and “how can I be in this world, but not let it destroy me from the inside out or the outside in”?

The invitation is asking you to face the horrors and still believe that love exists in your own heart even when it hurts, when it’s scary, even when the world reflects the vile extraction of innocence.

The invitation is asking you to return to the land, the earth, the community you live within and join forces to co-create a force greater than their hate.

The invitation is asking you to practice with great focus and discipline to hold in one hand your heart and the other your discernment of reality as it is.

Doing so- builds capacity. It expands your bandwidth and allows you to observe the world, while taking action to create change, by holding your values, your morality and your integrity at the center.

What unfolds from this practice is your ability to engage with and be with all of life, holding not just a neutral place, but a place of true power that can accept your true nature and stand up to protect innocence in the face of that which seeks to destroy it.

This is why it’s important to face the horrors and not look away, because if we are going to change the current system that only seeks to exploit, extract and cause harm, we cannot continue to subscribe or participate in the very fascism that sustains it.

#realtalk #bothand #justiceforinnocence

Incongruence

Confusion

When actions don’t match words

When promises fall flat

When hope and threat becomes a vicious cycle

Chaos begets chaos and the core vibration becomes unstable

All of these things lead to one major threat: nervous system sovereignty.

Look out into the world and what do you see?

Look into your life and what lies just beneath the surface. (For every person, this will be subjective, but a core theme none the less.)

The Full Moon in Cancer - The Super Full Wolf Moon, in the month of Capricorn is teaching us about safety. Where do we feel at home in our bodies and in our lives? Where are we creating safety for ourselves and where are we allowing others or parts of our lives to erode it?

Underneath the common thread of safety is power.

Are we owning our power or are we abandoning ourselves?

Are we allowing others or the world to abuse power or are we reclaiming it by choosing what we will engage in and allow?

Spoiler alert: The paradox of safety is freedom.

This is the theme of this lunation and this moon is the threshold of 2026.

The shadows that we see in this reflection of this moon, help us make clear choices on how to cross the threshold and co-create with the universe what we desire in our lives for 2026.

The game has always been about power and control, safety and freedom.

So how do we choose our hearts, reclaim our nervous system sovereignty in a world that is determined to undermine it?

Collapse the field and use your internal command to reconfigure it.

Use this simple diagnostic test: Does my nervous system stabilize or deteriorate over time with this person? With this job? With this family member? With this habit that I continue to engage with daily?

Maybe it’s even “does my nervous system deteriorate by staying up late scrolling or watching the news immediately upon waking?”

This tool will help you see what people, places, actions, habits and lifestyle choices are creating harm in your life and undermining your own personal power, along with your nervous system.

Also remember this: People who are holding the power card in this dynamic are relying on your tolerance of their ambiguity. They’re relying on your reactivity. They live for your focus of attention to be on them and to chase them. Typically, folks like this have very low self esteem and create an internal self of esteem by using power to prove to themselves they are worthy, by the pursuit of others, by controlling the dynamic of the container itself.

You can apply this knowledge to politics, systems of power in general and in your relationships.

Because we are standing in the doorway of such a crucial threshold regarding our internal safety and how we engage with the world, please consider that the invitation here is claim yourself, what feels good for you and lands smoothly in your body, to help restore and reclaim your personal nervous system sovereignty.

The chessboard moves you can make to protect your heart, your energy and your integrity look something like this:

Proclaim to yourself, out loud: “I only invest where behavior reduces anxiety.”

Observe words only. Do not react to them. In fact, collapse the verbal layer entirely and watch what they do, not what they say. Words in this case, are often a distraction.

Your checkmate move is radical congruence.

Stop negotiating your needs.

Stop reacting.

Stop giving your attention or placing your focus on whatever is deteriorating your energy.

Say these personal commandments internally and out loud:

“I don’t participate in dynamics that make me anxious, period.”

“I only stay engaged where BEHAVIOR is consistent”

From here you can introduce predictable consequences, without confrontation and they tend to look a lot like this:

Move your attention and focus to your own life.

Stop sharing your vulnerability with those who haven’t earned it.

Stop initiating with those who haven’t earned your trust or who slowly erode it.

Save your depth, your time and your energy for those who have shown you that they will be careful with your heart and your wounds.

Move slower. Move more intentionally.

Be patient, because the ones who move slow are typically moving with equal intention to know you, not manipulate you, or engage in a conscious or unconscious power struggle.

Also, moving slower = higher level of discernment is available for you to see what is happening in-between the words.

These choices communicate that you’re choosing YOU and your nervous system above all else.

A reclamation of nervous system sovereignty says “My experience matters and I choose to engage with the world and my life in a way that allows me the space to choose from a clear intentional place that resonates with every cell of my body”.

This is the threshold. This is the home we are creating for ourselves and our body with this full moon. It’s foundational for the year that we are walking into (because remember the real new year isn’t until spring.) Right now, we lay the foundation of what we are building. Safety, structure, form….because with this we allow ourselves the space to explore and experience the freedom of the safety we’ve created and the invitation to explore beyond it.

Congruence.

Alignment.

Stability.

This is the ask of a Cancer Moon in the month of Capricorn: The energy of Mother Moon and Father Saturn. What home are you building that will protect your nervous system sovereignty and the wisdom of your soul?

To be noticed

To be felt by simply existing

This is the desire

Not to be desired necessarily

But to be felt and experienced

To be seen

Exactly as you are

Not for the grand statements

or the flashy colors

or the sexiness you exude

(although these are wonderful flavors to witness)

But to be noticed for the little things

The things that seemingly go unnoticed

Or the things that we never hear

(Because of that fear of vulnerability thing)

But also because we're unpracticed

in the simple, but powerful practice

of noticing

Maybe its the perfect curl in her hair

Maybe it's his amazing smile

Maybe it's the way their laugh makes you light up inside

Maybe its the way their eyes pop when they wear their favorite shirt

Or the way they lean their head to the side when they're contemplating something

Maybe it’s noticing the hard work they're putting into something they're passionate about

Maybe it's the extra effort they're showing

Or the care that you're feeling

If you take a moment to notice

To see people for who they are

and how they show up

To share with them that you notice

That you see them

and REALLY SEE them...

Is such a powerful gift

In ways that we don’t even know how powerful it is

Until we feel it

By receiving it

And I can tell you it's equally amazing to share

To give the gift of noticing

Every time I'm out and about....

I tell random strangers little things I notice

It usually goes something like this:

"I love your sweater! It's so pretty on you!"

"I love your smile!"

"I love your earrings."

"Your piercing looks so perfect on you."

And people light up! Even in Minnesota (I know, crazy right?!?)

People love being noticed.

And it's because the desire will always remain even if it's unspoken.

To be seen

To be witnessed

To be felt simply by existing.

I hope you'll consider the invitation to practice the art of noticing.

Not only will the people around you benefit, but so will your own beautiful heart.

✨❤️✨

These thoughts stem from a thought from Mr. Carl Jung himself: “No matter how much the grandparents or parents have sinned, against the child, the man who is really adult, will accept these sins as his own condition that has to be reckoned with. Only a fool is interested in other people’s guilt since he cannot alter it. A wise man learns only from his own guilt. He will ask himself “Who am I that all this should happen to me?” To find the answer to this fateful question, he will look into his own heart. - from the book “Psychology and Alchemy”

To add my own perspective and experience: All is a process, a building and an unraveling. A gathering of pieces and a dismantling process that reveals what remains…we are similar to the perfection of a carefully crafted Mandala, only to be lovingly gazed upon before the sand is swept away.

I’m in mid life and still in the dismantling process, revealing what remains, piece by piece, revelation by revelation. I imagine this will be so till I die.

What I’ve found is, the lessons of my Mother (my moon sign) are buried in my own heart. (The wisdom of Sagittarius) and the lessons of my Father, connected to the light of the Sun (also buried in my own heart as the wisdom of Taurus). I’ve found this to be true in many regards, with the context personalized by the house they reside in and the aspects to the planet.

(Giving more meaning to anscestral trauma and whose responsibility is it really?)

While it can feel like bypassing real life events to take it upon yourself, a kind of new age-y rhetoric that dismisses harm, what I think this really means is there is a process unfolding - greater than we really can understand and this process occurs whether we will it to or not.

To live in this world and not let it destroy your heart is to embrace that you are “not that” and you “are that” simultaneously.

Meaning you are your own sovereign heart and you are the child of your parents. You are divine and you are human. You are magical and you are mundane. You are beautiful and you are ugly. You are light and you are dark. Embrace both and they merge into harmonious energy that supports all that you are, not just pieces.

Both/and

So how do we navigate the in-between? The space where tender parts still exist while we embrace the willingness to look into our own hearts?

This is where bringing mindfulness aka consciousness to our experiences, to the mundane tasks, to our every day interactions, to every person, especially those we love matters.

Seeking to understand via curiosity.

Navigating the depths with intentional conversation.

Not poking tender parts by taking responsibility for how your actions affect the world around you and the people you love.

Using your words as guardians of your heart by speaking clear boundaries

At the end of it all, can we love ourselves and each other for all that we are? Can we make the journey just a little bit easier when we know someone is traveling a dark road by being the light, the safe space, the warm hug, the soft touch or the gentle reassurance?

These are all small gifts with huge reward: the healing of hearts

not only yours, but your parents, your grandparents and your entire lineage.

I’d say that’s a pretty powerful purpose and role to play in this thing we call life.

Some argue this is a dire turning point for humanity.

A force against our meaning, of what it means to be human.

The purpose, our function gone, wiped out by artificial intelligence.

“We don’t know who we are without being useful.”

“We define our worth by productivity”

“Our identity is built on efficiency, so losing this feels like a “death”

As if working, being productive, being “useful” to the system is our purpose and our function for existing.

And others argued that it’s a turning point for those who understand we create meaning, that being “successful” doesn’t equate to “doing” or “striving for” or “achievement”. The meaning making of life, suddenly opens up to interpretation. Because AI will be doing most of the mundane tasks, the busy work, and jobs that human beings are currently doing for pay. Doctors, lawyers, teachers, are not exempt in their arguments. It’s not just low level workers that will fade away.

So where does that leave us? As a modern western society that has built it’s entire function around productivity as the marking for success and the baseline for our entire lives.

While there are many question marks and some that are deeply concerning in my opinion, the larger impact this conversation leaves with me is that AI - the “output” model of it, is grossly linked with our current archaic programmed model of “success”.

More = better

Faster = better

More money = successful

High output = successful

I’ve recently joined Substack and I’m witnessing a plethora of writers, content creators push out articles about “how to grow your follower base with AI” or “how to streamline your process with AI…”

It’s all about growth. It’s all about fast-tracking success.

Do more, be better, get the process streamlined and automated so you can lean back and do less, to receive more.

Sure, there’s some logic in it. (In the do less, receive more part of the equation, but what about the parts of you that have been programmed to “do” and “be productive” to feel like you have purpose?)

I see some big lessons coming in here and while they are what I would call “productive” because they are dismantling ideas that keep you entrapped to an idea of who you need to be, vs. allowing yourself to be who you are. ;)

But whatever happened to allowing things to grow from your authenticity? What happened to moving with the flow?

I can tell you a story about how I grew my Facebook page from 0 to 7k. For one, I didn’t plan to, it was never the intention. It just happened. I didn’t advertise. I didn’t follow any marketing programs, or do anything a specific way. It was just me and my notebook. Me and pen, scribbling out the words that poured from my heart. Inspirations, invitations and lived experiences shared simply because I wanted to.

I don’t write when I’m not feeling inspired. I don’t force my hand or my heart to share.

And the people arrived. Curiosity grew. People engage or they witness in silence and message me later how I’ve impacted them or shared a story they resonated with.

I had no agenda. I just showed up.

And people, being the energetic and wise beings that they are, know what’s real.

AI cannot and will never give you the human touch, the human experience, the creative essence that only the heart and a creative mind can share with you.

While it may fast track your process, it’s still hooked into the old model.

Fast = better

What happened to the slow drip?

To the patience that’s required for the richness, for the savory?

What happened to allowing yourself the experience and the frustration of sitting with the tension of stagnacy? The void. The space where creativity and connection has run dry?

Could it be that this space, the place all artists fear, is actually a necessary part of the entire creative process?

And yet we rush it. We run to tools, to other creators for ideas. We run to workshops and AI.

To fill the space, to fill the void that we can’t bare, because our purpose is so wrapped up in and identified with output that we avoid the very space of creation itself.

And we wonder why there’s repeats of movies, endless books in the same series, why reality tv is more entertaining than theatre.

The answer is buried under reels, tik toks and endless scrolling.

Quick fixes kill the process.

Dopamine hits drain our creativity because much of our creative muscle is built in the spaces in-between. When we get bored. When we are reaching for something new, in the beyond of what we already know.

Deep, rich literature is gathering dust, while people scroll away hours and our brains literally rot.

Our memory short circuits, our neural networks shorten as we deplete our creative reserves for a quick hit.

While I find AI an interesting tool, for business purposes (not creative purposes) a great organizational and data processor, I also see how it’s keeping the dysfunction of late stage capitalism alive.

When i scroll on LinkedIN, the majority of posts are those crying out for work, the repeating theme is a sense of failure. AI resume tools canceling qualified people out. A system set up to gather only the best and lacks all humanity in the end. Sure there are pluses and minuses in every tool, in every system. And right now, the edges of contrast are only getting clearer.

But, what I also see, is the systemic presence of late stage capitalism and the end of an era.

The Boomers are aging out.

A world that used to work (pun intended), is not so quietly dismantling and falling apart.

Like all chapters, like all good stories, they come to an end.

In my opinion, that’s what we’re seeing on the global stage and AI is not a “new tech” that leads us all to freedom. AI is an extension of the old that will lead us all to a deeper realization that a world that requires your purpose to rest on the back of productivity or your meaning for existing to begin and end with your career, your income stream, the amount of money you make, is just another version of indentured servitude to a faceless master called “capitialism”.

An identity that was built for you, but doesn’t actually reflect the real you.

As the old continues to decay, as the world moves deeper into tech…my hope is that the call to the creative spirit will rise from the depths, calling us all into the space in-between.

May we be summoned to put down the phone, turn off the computers, and face the barren world of boredom when you’re out of creative juice and need rest to rejuvenate inspiration.

My hope is we all answer the call to slow down, create from the heart and understand our meaning doesn’t come from “out there” or fast tracking success. It comes from building a world around you, with no agenda that matches the frequency of your beautiful heart.

Because let’s face it, that’s the world we all desperately crave, a world that inspires, opens minds, cracks open hearts and allows the divine a true place to shine.

After my divorce, the holidays were weird for a few years, the usual melancholy ache of being alone for most of Christmas Day and half of Thanksgiving, always crept in. And then, you begin to get used to the ache. I began to make my own routines and traditions. The holidays became a welcome energy again.

Every Christmas I go to the sauna, I do a "self care day", meditate, journal, and snuggle up on the couch to watch movies with some really good snacks. In some ways, I began to look forward to it and it's been hard to imagine my quiet Christmas afternoons and evenings any other way.

But over the past few years, my usual routine has gotten disrupted, not because of anything I'm doing, but because other family members are only considering themselves and what works best for them, which means I'm always left scrambling. Having to rearrange my schedule, disrupt my co-parents schedule and make more trips, cancel plans or miss out altogether.

So, this year, when I got the last minute call of changed plans, I felt the boundary inflame.

I know shit happens. Plans change. People will people. Humans will only think about themselves and not consider anyone else.

But, this year I've decided to take my power back.

I'm single. I don't have a partner to answer to. I don't have in-laws to manage or obligations. I just have kiddos to manage, co-parents and routines to consider. Being a considerate person, I acknowledge their plans and I try not to deviate from them. Which is why, when other people disrupt these plans that have been in place for a decade, I'm the one who gets assed out.

So, what the fuck am I doing letting people disrupt my happiness? Oh yeah. I don't have to. And today I decided I'm not letting it happen anymore.

So, every holiday from this year forward, I'm hopping on a plane and getting out of dodge.

It's a date with me and my passport. A new city. A quiet village. A change of scenery.

If my teenagers want to join me, so be it. If they want to stay with their Dad, so be it.

But this girl is no longer at the whim of everybody else who doesn't consider what it's like to have to manage all the feels of being alone when most people are together or the disruption of my life and my traditions, just to cater to theirs.

So I'm making new ones that are untouchable.

And it feels good to reclaim it. My time, my energy and my joy.

Those who want to join me, are always welcome, but I'm the captain of my own ship from now on.

I write this for other single parents, for those of you who don't have family to be with on the holidays, or for those who can relate to family drama or just plain ole inconsiderate people.

I write these words for all of us.

You too can reclaim your power and your joy. Even during the days we're supposed to be with family or do the thing a certain way.

I'm here to say "no you fucking don't."

And darling....it's your life. Go out and live!

*cheers*

“The vitality of seeds”

During this phase, from now until December 21st 2025, Winter Solstice, we are becoming the seed once again.

And so my contemplation today revolves around vitality. The energy and life force that moves me, in and through my days.

What is VITAL to life? What is bringing aliveness to life? And so I ask myself these simple questions and perhaps you could try them on for size:

Is this task vital for business? If not, it’s busywork.

Is this action vital for my life? If not, it’s a distraction.

More simply put: If the actions and choices I’m making are not life giving, inspiring or fulfilling, then these actions and choices are depleting my energy instead.

In many eastern traditions, the key principle is we are born full of energy and life. As we age (or what aging is rather) is the depletion of life force. Without mindfulness or energetic practices to help support our lifeforce/energy we age faster, we create conditions for disease and illness to manifest.

While, I don’t think we can avoid death or genetic disposition, obviously…we can help support the body we were given by honoring its needs and supporting our energy by making choices and actions that support our vitality, always.

What is truly vital for you? And if it’s not, what is the draw to it? (There are answers within the chosen actions also.)

Do you scroll to avoid? Do you choose distractions to escape a void in your life? Do you choose to busy yourself instead of being present with what really is unfolding in your body, or in your life?

Often, we avoid what is uncomfortable. But what is uncomfortable is just information. When approached this way, it’s much easier to listen. What we can recieve by listening to the parts that are uncomfortable, is an awareness. A gift of insight so that we no longer have to avoid, but instead offer compassion, love and support.

In the season of the seed, buried in the dark black soil, underneath the cold, and the approaching winter…

We are offered the invitation to explore vitality, to observe your life and where you choose what is life giving or what is depleting you.

And why. To explore the many why’s of our motivations. The undercurrent of our actions. The things we say yes to.

Because at the end of every day, it’s just you, and your body, weaving in and out of every moment. This is your life, that grows shorter with each passing day. This the reality of our human impermanence.

And so, the invitation will always present itself, even in the darkest of hours: do you choose life?

Because to choose life, aliveness and what is vital, is to choose to cherish the day, cherish your body, and cherish this one precious life you were blessed with as this beautiful human you are and becoming.

Sending love. ✨❤️✨

We have arrived.

Slowly dissolving Into the Depths of the Dark

The Balsamic phase of the year

It is here we innately know and feel energy of the Dark Goddess

Hekate

The Morrigan

Lilith

Medusa

Kali

Cailleach

It is on this day of Hallowmas, Samhain, aka Halloween, that we surrender to Death and formlessness.

This is our collective transit through the 12th house.

In which we face our karma, the collective unconscious and are offered the option to choose to let our identities die and dissolve into the space of no-thing. Becoming once again, the seed.

This is the time of year that we deeply feel all our feels. When the rise of SAD or seasonal affective depressive disorder kicks in for many. We blame it on the lack of sun, but could it also be the overarching seasonal cycle of darkness on the wheel?

In the northern hemisphere, the air grows colder and we retreat inwards to tend to our hearth and build a sacred fire. Grief, sadness, and mourning over the loss of who we thought we were (and what we thought our life was meant to be) as we see more clearly through our own delusions and the illusion we’ve been living.

“The Veil is thin this time of year”

Have you noticed a pattern with this time of year in your own life? Is there a theme that you seem to face during Samhain to Winter Solstice? Maybe you do feel a depression or anxiety during this time. Lethargic and unmotivated. Stuck or frozen. These are all indications that something within you is asking to be seen. There is something lurking in the dark. Beckoning you to notice, it’s silent presence.

During this phase of the year, we are gifted the opportunity to acknowledge and see where we have been living in ways that drain our energy or that are no longer useful to our lives. Where do you allow your vital lifeforce to be drained from you?

“Vampires”

Where do you allow yourself to engage in acts or areas of life that are no longer useful or are completely lifeless, but you wander through them day after day, on auto pilot?

“Zombies”

Where must we face and change our habitual nature and choose differently for ourselves so we can transform this old energy into the new? Because if we don’t, or continue to wear or many masks, we will face the trickster.

“Trick or treat”

Ghouls and goblins, demons and sorcery….all projected ideas of the shadow or the unconscious that co-exists always in your life. The church did a wonderful job “demonizing” the goddess, Lilith, and the feminine herself. As an act of separation from that which is already whole. And so now, we associate this time of year or “Halloween” with stories, ideas and labels that implicitly associate “evil” or things are are scary and lifeless, to the dark. But this couldn’t be farther from the truth of what this season and time of this cycle of the year means.

The annual 12th house collective transit is a period in which we all enter the Womb of the Soul.

We just left the phase where we become aware of what needs to die, and it begin to whither away and decay. Look to the signs of nature that indicate this as well. Every fall the leaves on the trees, turn a beautiful array of colors, orange, red, yellow (all connected to the lower chakras in our own bodies, connecting us to our physical bodies and life). This decay process, shows us just how beautiful the death process is. And how it is a natural part of life. Not something to be feared or pushed away into the shadows.

Often during the dark moon phase we encounter a loss of some kind or we face where we are disrupting our own lives with our unconscious patterns. The 12th house is the house of karma and the unconscious (collective and personal). Our task during this transit is to “make the unconscious conscious” and understand that our plight is not our enemy, but rather a part of who we are and something that with a little acceptance, can be a lived and loved part of us. The idea that we somehow transcend our ego entirely and are able to completely opt out of any form of our shadow or unconscious aspects is part of what this time of year helps you realize is an illusion. A deception of the trickster himself. You are not imprisoned to your fate, but rather you are here to accept yourself for who you are, wholly and completely. To understand karma, is to understand that how we see and operate in the world is due to how we interact with life, but also due to all the paths that have been walked via our ancestors.

“Day of the Dead”

It’s not that we are doomed to the past, but that we chose to face this karma not only for our own healing and evolution, but for those who we share an eternal bond with our soul family, our ancestors. (also everyone and everything) We do this human and soul work for each other just as much as we do for ourselves, in the name of Love.

So on this first day of the Dark Moon phase of the year, as we dress up our faces with masks of scary cartoon characters, or superheroes….may it be done so in celebration of the parts of you you’d rather hide. If you’re feeling tender, in a state of mourning over what you’re letting go, what is coming to a completion, remember to take the wisdom of this past cycle and allow it to become the crucible, the necessary aspects of the seed of your inner transformation that will occur over the next several months till Winter Solstice. This is where the wisdom of the Crone comes from. The Wise One. It is here we allow death to transform us and in the womb of the soul, truly know within the darkness, that all that we fear, is ultimately leading us back home to ourselves via the path of acceptance and unconditional love.

“Just remember, in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow. Lies the seed, that with the sun’s love, in the spring, becomes the Rose.”

Happy Samhain, everyone. ✨🖤✨

So, when clients ask me how do I find my purpose? I tell them to discover what makes them feel most alive. 🥰⚡️

What sparks joy? What brings the most the most authentic version of you alive into the world? What ignites your creativity?

Most don’t know what that something is.

And now, you’ve arrived at your purpose. Discovering who you really are. The meaning? Whatever you discover along the way. #doyouaccepttheinvitation

The caveat, the surprise, is even in your darkest moments, your purpose quietly whispers in your ear. Igniting deep feeling, awareness and growth. Some of our most painful moments, spark our most profound creativity.

So, don’t stop at joy, embrace the fullness of life and even more meaning, purpose and aliveness will enrapture you.

✨❤️✨

I want to feel your presence and your support, cheering on the things that matter to me.

I want to be the first person that comes to mind when you’re ESTATIC about something and the first person you tell.

I want to be the one who keeps your secrets safe.

I want to be the one who holds your hand when you’re scared.

I want love that is ALIVE, with appreciation, FUN, curiosity and awe.

And yet tender, intentional, protected with care.

Because the world isn’t always kind.

People often take

Because the world expects so much of us

And it’s only in the quiet moments, with those who truly see us and dare to love us

That we can recharge

Let our guards down

And just be

Loved for everything that we are

We do this first, for ourselves

And then we find those who are safe to let in close

Who dare to love us outloud and celebrate us,

Just as we celebrate them.

It’s a joyful thing

To create a life so full of love and acceptance, protection and care.

Because what we’re creating in our hearts, in-between the words and the experiences, is profoundly important.

I don’t want to waste my one precious life, on those who can’t meet me how I meet myself. Or invite me to experience love beyond what I’ve ever tasted.

And I wouldn’t want to take this opportunity from anyone I love either.

We are all free here.

To love, to change, to be.

That is my world, the world I’m creating and the world I hope you create for yourselves too.

✨🩷✨

A few minutes later, I checked Facebook, only to find a reel of Anderson Cooper reporting on how the FCC has decided that it will remove the license of any broadcast company that is out of alignment with “national interests”. They discussed the firing of late night hosts, Colbert and Kimmel, with our president saying himself that “their ratings were bad” and how 97% of America is against Trump but he doesn’t see how that’s possible because he won all 7 swing states…so because they’re lying, he’s going to control them. Nevermind, HIS ratings are bad.

🙄 🥱 🙄 🥱 🙄

My first thought after seeing this was not “oh no, our news will be nothing, but propaganda…” Instead, I thought back to a quote I heard from a Chinese citizen, “No one watches the news ever, because we all know it’s nothing but propaganda. Instead, we go live our lives”.

And we all know…that time has come. It’s been this way for decades, but the time has come now to turn your tv off. Kendrick had it right. The game is over.

It’s time to go to the theatre to catch a live play, or go watch stand up comedy, rock out in the crowd at a concert, dance with friends on the dance floor.

Turn your tv off because the revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will happen in each of your communities. It will happen face to face, in real time. Where hearts and minds connect, complete with body language and nuance. Complete with energy and heart coherence.

The real revolution happens when we stop giving our power to those who abuse it, who manipulate us and lie to our faces. So while they continue to crack down on false bogeymen, we can return to what matters and reclaim what they threaten to take.

Art. Comedy. Music. Creativity.

In previous times, the center of a society was the creative, the muse, the oracle. In those societies, the creative was highly respected, sought after and protected.

We live in inverse times. And while it breaks my heart that it’s even become this way (aka the starving artist) we the people have the power change the program, to rewrite the script.

Return to your communities. Continue your art and your passions. Dig your heels in deep and refuse to play their game.

You are not a pawn in their chess battle. No one can claim checkmate if you refuse to be on their board.

Turn your TV off and let’s go create a real revolution! (Ps. I’ll see you on the dance floor)

✨❤️✨

**listen to Kendrick Lamar “Tv Off” in the background while reading for full effect. ;)

Can you pick out the underlying theme? (hint: the astrologer still speaks...)

✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨

You had the most beautiful red hair, pulled half up, a striking red lipstick and a chunky grey turtle neck, exploding out of a perfect, crisp burnt sienna peacoat. You were reading, lost in maybe a fairytale romance, or maybe you’re a fantasy chick? I found you stunning and wistfully intriguing.

I was the guy in a red corduroy jacket, a tan turtleneck and wire rimmed glasses. Brown hair, facial scruff and blue eyes. A coffee in hand of course and not so shyly staring.

You caught me. Our eyes locked for a moment as you looked up from your reading. Your smile is so sweet and coy, I couldn’t help, but smile back. I was about to get up and come chat with you, but my buddies arrived with loud hellos and hugs. You went back to your reading.

A few minutes later my friends went inside for their coffees, while I held our table. I wandered over to you and asked what you were reading. You looked up sweetly and rattled off a name I’d never heard, but it sounded like a romance novel. You told me it’s good, a little slow, but the main characters are so playful and innocent. You loved how they were having so much fun with each other. And so far it’s giving your heart some hope.

“Does a beautiful girl like you really need hope in matters of the heart?” I asked “I’m sure men are lining up to take you out. I mean, I would love to place myself first in line if I could.” I joked.

You smiled and said, I was sweet. You proceeded to tell me you’ve always had trouble picking the right men and wind up being hurt far too often, or wind up feeling unheard or just a trophy instead of a person, so because of this, you’ve been single for a long time.

I wondered what a long time meant. But, it made me want to show you a good time. And it also made me a little hesitant. I wouldn’t want to be another reason why you read romance fairytales to mend your broken heart. But can we really know what’s to come if we don’t at least try?

My friends had returned to our table. I could hear their loud laughter and debating the last football game that ended in disaster.

“Well” I asked again “Can I take you out? I’d love the opportunity to know more about you. And who knows, maybe there’s a happy ending here? Just like in your novels.” I winked at you. “I mean, I’d like to think I’m a good guy. I’ve never had anyone tell me otherwise.”

“But I don’t even know your name” you giggled at me.

“Ah! I guess that would help wouldn’t it?” “I’m Leo. What’s your name?”

You told me your name was Cassandra. Your closest friends and family call you Cass, for short.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Cassandra, maybe someday I’ll get to call you Cass.” I smiled and waited for an answer.

You hesitated and finally said yes. You were fumbling to find your phone to take down my number, as your bus arrived.

“Here, just let me take your number. It’s easier!” I offered. You rattled off your number and I plugged into my phone.

“I’ll call you!!” I yelled after you as you hurried onto the bus. The last thing I saw was your beautiful smile and your gorgeous red hair.

Little did I know, you would be the one that got away.

I’m not sure if you changed your mind and gave me the wrong number or if I heard you wrong or just accidentally put the wrong numbers in my phone, but the text I sent an hour later never got answered.

I tried again the next day. Only to have someone tell me I had the wrong number.

I know I’m just some guy you met outside of Nina’s at the bus stop. I know I shouldn’t care or being going to this length to find you, but, don’t we all have to believe in romance and love just a little bit? Isn’t it what keeps us going? What keeps us opening up our hearts after heartbreak? Isn't it why we read the romance novels or watch the movies that take on an emotional rollercoaster? Isn’t love the reason why we exist in the first place? Sure, sometimes it’s lust, it’s a mistake, it’s a drunken decision, but most of the time, it’s a connection, an intrigue that sparks the start of a new possibility of a happy storyline. Sometimes, what begins as friendship turns into the greatest love story ever told! Or, the greatest love, reveals an unshakeable friendship.

And yes, heartbreak still happens in amazing love stories. Sometimes, the greatest stories ever, still have end. After all, we all die. All your novels, have a last page. But what if, the story itself is the entire point?

What if all those guys who hurt you, were just helping you understand what your heart really needs?

What if your heart is craving to be heard, to be held, to be seen, to be loved in real time? And that can’t happen if you’re hiding.

I know, dating is hard. Love is scary. But, it doesn’t have to exist only in fantasy, written on the pages of a novel. You can create it! With someone just so long as you give them a chance.

Hopefully, just maybe, you’re wondering why I haven’t called and you’ve caught me again trying to read you.

Cassandra, I’d love to get to know you and go on silly romantic dates and maybe just maybe show you that good guys are out here, wanting a happy life with someone special too. We all are just people wanting to feel and experience happiness, love and fun in this life. I really think creating the story together, dancing on the stage of life, is the entire point.

-Leo

Jupiter had some fun with the Sun yesterday, (it’s called a Cazimi in astrology) and look what happened?! Zohran Mamdani was elected as NYC mayor! I don’t live in NYC, but I see this as a massive turning point for our country.

Let me break it down:

Jupiter is in Cancer, which is in its exalted state, meaning its highest and best position. Jupiter is all about ABUNDANCE, growth, expansion. Cancer is the energy of the Mother, but also she is inclusive and considers the whole family, the whole tribe, the community.

Mamdani is 33 years old. Which makes him a Millennial. He’s also a Libra Sun (Scorpio cusp if we wanna make it spicy)

He’s taking office in New England, where America officially began.

Why this matters: Millennials taking public office or positions of leaderships signals a change of the guard, pushing out Boomers who have been notoriously “large and in charge” for too long. To drive this point further: In 20+ years, none of the global fascists will be alive. (Can you envision it?! No Putin, No Netanyahu, no Trump, no Jinping. I’m not being dark here, this is just life. These guys are currently in their 70’s and 80’s).

It also connects to several key astrological factors: we are still feeling the reverberations of America’s first ever Pluto Return. Because Mamdani was elected in New England, I feel like the timing is pointing to a politcal shift and tide change. Making way for younger generations to influence power structures.

The Jupiter Cazimi signals a new 12 YEAR CYCLE. The last time this happened was in 2013. Today, we have a New Moon in Cancer. (Again, a new cycle)

To me, this solidifies an abundant new cycle that is FOR THE PEOPLE! However, we must continue to seek Justice.

Back to Mamdani for a second, he’s a Libra. Which means he is designed to seek fairness, justice and harmony. #alignment

Overall, I find the timing auspicious and telling for what is to come.

On a more personal note, think back to 2013. What was happening in your own personal life story? What is arising for you now? Are you coming around the spiral on a specific area of life? Or is something new asking to be born from the wisdom of the past 12 years? Where are you building community or connecting with others? What is asking for your attention to co-create more abundance in your life? What new cycle are you creating?

Ps. Ladies, I know many of you are starting your moon today. So please, don’t let the energy of “manifest all this into your life NOW” rhetoric stress you out or push you in ways you don’t have the energy for. Remember the way of the feminine: go inwards. Listen to your heart. Be with your body. Find stillness. Let Her speak to you from the depths. Move with what feels manageable only.

Sending love.

Melissa

But otherwise, we are casual observers. Most often we see the girl at the coffee shop and it’s like she’s an extra in OUR movie. We see the little kid playing at the park and remember our own joy as a child on the swings, or maybe we think “he’s so cute playing without a care in the world!”.  Sometimes, we notice a person and their expression gives us a glimpse of what they may be experiencing. But most often the world around us is simply existing as we move through our own day, and are not aware of anyone else until they enter our world through interaction.

Most of what we experience then when it comes to others, is often a projection, like in the example with the little boy.  People trigger memories and feelings through our own scope. And while this isn’t bad, there’s an invitation here. To expand beyond what is triggered within you by the world around you.

There is magic available here. And it’s found in the experience of others and how they view or experience the world. There is a beautiful invitation to know the universe as it exists beyond our limited framework. There is an opportunity to know the world differently, when we begin to let curiosity guide us. Or when we open ourselves to know the inner world of another.  Often here, we will find ways to relate, even in these spaces of deep vulnerability.  But the real healing comes when we can just be with another’s experience and not judge, or need to fix it…there is an offering here as well. An offering of acceptance. Even when it hurts, when it’s dark or when we are asked to hold others in places we may otherwise judge. Instead, we offer a kindness and witnessing to the wholeness of a person. And to the universe itself. 

This week I sat on the couch and explained a version of this to my 12 year old son who’s been experiencing a lot of struggle at school lately. Our kids go through so much bullying, it’s unreal. My heart breaks when I hear these stories. So, I sat on the couch and told my son, to be mindful of this simple reality “we never know what someone is going through, so just be the one person who’s kind. We all need a little more kindness in our lives.” I followed up with some momma bear protection also because I’m not a pushover, so of course I will teach my boys to stand up for the underdog or stand up for what is right and that is “if someone is being racist, homophobic, sexist, misogynistic, or cruel, you can absolutely call them out and state exactly why. And then remove yourself. You can still be kind, but it doesn’t mean you have to be friends with them or let them near you. Those who choose to disrespect the kindness you bring, do not deserve access to you, but kindness is the one thing you can offer everywhere you go.”

And so, the invitation has arrived now to pay attention to when you’re silently judging, or dismissing those around you. The invitation to smile at a stranger when you’re walking by, or strike up conversation with someone on your walk around the lake. If anything let this be your reminder that there are so many out there who could benefit from your kindness that no one asked for, but you decided to give it anyway.

(And for my MN folk, who knows…maybe we could become MNKIND?)

❤️

the whisper of your ancestors,

the call of wisdom that lives bone-deep.

You are the remembrance

of all that is sacred.

You are not here to be understood,

nor displayed like a trophy.

You are not here to be chosen or won.

The feral power of Nature moves through you.

The forest bows each time

you wander through its trees.

The flowers blow you kisses

soft and sweet

because you remember

what the world long since forgot.